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Members Only! Some Big Questions: Part Deux

Hello again!

Thanks for reading last week!

Today, we have more questions for Lighthouse International Group members, Lighthouse Kidz dudes and The Legends Report writers! They're just questions; things we've been wondering about. You've probably already thought carefully about each one of these, and maybe we've got the wrong end of the stick, but humour us, please!

Do you think one’s home should be a safe space?

We need to talk about these share houses. You are probably rolling your eyes at this (ugh, it’s fine! I love communal living!) but you have to admit that others outside of Lighthouse International Group might see this transient, holiday cottage way of living as slightly concerning. But maybe they just don't get it.

Do you know anyone else outside of Lighthouse International Group who lives with all their colleagues in a share space that is also their place of work – and organised by their superiors? Apart from the submariners on Vigil on BBC 1 which is ace and you should absolutely watch it! Anyway, we digress... If, for some reason, you wanted to maybe leave (perhaps you want to go it alone? Or join a new mentoring organisation? Have a break? Or just be done with the whole thing?), where the heck would you live?

Tying your job and your whole friendship group and reason for living to your accommodation that someone else controls seems… a little risky. But perhaps you’re not worried about that? Maybe you love it? You can all be focused on a common goal and have Deliveroo every night! (But, ugh, why doesn’t the Associate Elect in the next room ever buy loo paper? Or do the washing up occasionally? You know who you are!).

Is living this way – temporary, transient by its very nature, and something many of us would be desperate to get out of (click through to Shelter if you want to know about their campaigns to help people move out of transient accommodation) – is it something you’d genuinely recommend to a friend or partner? If it is, 100%, and you’d gladly encourage others to do the same, no worries!

Have you considered getting accredited?

We touched on this last week – but expanding on that – do you think it’s a good idea to formalise your mentorship career so you can have insurance, professional recognition, and a strong ethical framework within which to hold your sessions? This would clearly protect you if things between you and your mentee go awry. Or maybe you think it’s not necessary? That these governing bodies are not worth their salt and it’s much better to go it alone without insurance or a recognised framework? And that future mentees will be absolutely fine with this? If the average person who wanted mentoring had a choice between an accredited mentor or not, what would they choose?

Past members – what’s their deal?

Ugh. We know. Past members – they’re the WORST, right? Always whining and complaining. Again, we touched on this last week but, what is their damn deal? What have they got to complain about? Lighthouse International Group is great, right? It’s a full-time party! And the golf is ace! You are totally loving it!! And ex-members? The worst party poopers of all. You all brought a nice wine and a case of beers, and all they brought was a half-drunk bottle of Bristol Cream.

But why are they all so unhappy? Can they all – every single one of them – be 100% wrong? Or do you think some might - just might - have a legit claim?

In general, how best should an organisation deal with unhappy customers? Deal with their complaints? Listen to them? Allay their fears? Start a dialogue? Attempt to pay them back monies when ordered to do so in a court of law? Turn a frown upside down? Or perhaps you think they're best ignored. If so, that's totally cool!

Do you think good family relationships are a sign of a successful life?

Ugh. Families. You just can’t pick ‘em, can you. And maybe you wouldn’t pick yours, given half the chance. But, like it not, they’re in your life. They gave birth to you, picked you up when you fell over, nursed you when you were sick. Is having a healthy, continuing relationship with your family important to you? Is communication, active listening, and trust-building with people whose viewpoint might be different to yours important?

Have you heard of the Sunk Cost Fallacy? Or Escalation of Commitment?

Do you ever feel like you’ve invested too much time, too much energy, too much cash in something or someone, that you couldn’t leave even if you wanted to? Perhaps you were told a big project was launching any-day-now (but hasn’t because of a “delay”), or that you really need to buy that next big course for £££ before you can truly move on? Or maybe a bad boyfriend promises they’ll change but never does? Or maybe you will be absolutely raking it in any moment. And time keeps ticking with nothing really to show for it?

Here’s the Wiki entry for the Escalation thing (sorry, not the best citation, so feel free to research yourself!):

“Economists and behavioural scientists use a related term, sunk-cost fallacy, to describe the justification of increased investment of money or effort in a decision, based on the cumulative prior investment ("sunk cost") despite new evidence suggesting that the future cost of continuing the behaviour outweighs the expected benefit.”

We really really don’t want anyone else to feel like that. If this is you, please don’t worry. Whether you know it or not, you have a whole community of people (your friends and families, your partners, others who have been in the same place as you, countless organisations) here to support you, if you want.

People who end up leaving these situations or bad relationships always report they are happier having moved onwards and upwards. They bring with them the good bits and leave the bad behind.

We know how great you are with people – and we know you just really want to do something meaningful and amazing with your life. And there are SO many real and practical ways of doing just that! We’ll just be glad to have you back and we can all go to the pub together and eat Scampi Fries and we’ll be laughing about the whole thing before closing time.

Finally, did you call your parents yet?

Come on! We’ve all be through so much in these Covid times – they would absolutely love to hear from you! In fact, maybe spend a little time with them? Stay in your old bedroom! See your old cat! Have cups of tea and slices of cake delivered to your spot on the sofa every 20 mins from The One Show through to Gogglebox! Then watch Vigil on catch up. What have you got to lose?

Until next time! xx

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